(This song is a joke. Don't get offended. It's sung to the tune of an Irish Drinking Song such as is sung on "Whose Line Is It Anyway" e.g.: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xnkBVKWMMOM Enjoy!)
Today we honor our leaders
From one to 43
Beginning with the man who
Chopped down the cherry tree
Some presidents had a peaceful time
Some had to reconstruct
Some of them were really good
Others, like Harding, sucked
Washington kept lots of slaves
A hypocrite was he
Adams was pretty decent
‘Cept for those dumb sedition laws
Jefferson wrote declarations
He was a bit of an egotist
Madison stood tall for religion
Though he was only 5’6”
Monroe wrote something important
They call it a doctrine
John Quincy dropped dead in Congress
His daddy got him in
Jackson had a temper
Gave his opponents a scare
Martin Van Buren became president
Despite his awful hair
William Henry Harrison
Should’ve worn a coat
So John Tyler succeeded him
Quickly without a vote
James K. Polk was 11
He said “54-40 or fight”
Zach Taylor died from a sickness
Contracted on July 4th night
Fillmore would not have been president
‘Cuz he had a funny name
Pierce did the Gadsden Purchase
And had a wife named Jane
Buchanon was a bachelor
His presidency was kind of plain
Lincoln freed all the slaves
Then he was shot and his wife went insane
Johnson was the first impeachment
This made him really sad
Ulysses Grant was a great general
But as president he was really bad
Hayes was our 19th president
Against Boss Tweed he had guts
Garfield was really awesome too
Before being shot by a dude who was nuts
Chester Alan Arthur
Had three first names
Grover Cleveland was 22
But we’ll see him again
B. Harrison was embarrassing
He led as if he were on crack
His presidency was so awful
The country took Cleveland back
McKinley took on Spain
And a canal he began to dig
Teddy busted trusts and stuff
With a stick that was really big
Taft was a president and a judge
Though he was large in the gut
Wilson entered the war late
But still kicked some German butt
Harding was a moron
The worst president ever
Coolidge led us to depression
So he wasn’t much more clever
Hoover had bad timing
And he didn’t get real far
But we were saved by a New Deal
From a crippled FDR
Truman dropped the big bomb
And fully ended the Third Reich
Eisenhower was fully bald
But still everyone liked Ike
JFK saved us from crisis
But girl problems he had
LBJ got run out of office
Because Vietnam was so bad
Nixon was so paranoid
That’s what caused Watergate
No one wanted Ford as president
Though he tried to set the country straight
Jimmy Carter tried his best
But Iran was so hostile
Everyone loved Reagan
Even though he was senile
George H.W. Bush bombed
Iraq from dusk to dawn
Bill Clinton helped the economy
But couldn’t keep his pants on
The next George Bush had problems
He couldn’t say nuclear you see
I don’t know who the next president is
But I hope it’s not Hillary
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
One For The Ages
(This article appeared in the Feb. 7 edition of the QC Knight News)
NYG 17-14 NE.
That was what the scoreboard read at the end of Super Bowl XLII, a game that many people are beginning to call the greatest Super Bowl ever. The 18-0 New England Patriots came to Glendale a confident, if not cocky, team. They left humbled by a Giants team that simply wanted it more and turned the perfect Patriots into an NFL footnote instead of the greatest team of all time. That is not to say that these 2007 Patriots won’t be remembered. Their perfection through 18 games will be invoked with regard to future undefeated clubs, but always along with the painful, unyielding fact that they could not win the most important game of all. Meanwhile, the Giants proved that willpower and resolve, not to mention a ferocious pass rush, should never be underestimated. After clinching a playoff spot in week 16 against the Buffalo Bills, Tom Coughlin made the unorthodox decision to play all of his starters, even though there was nothing to gain. The result was a thrilling week 17 showdown with the Patriots that would end a three point victory for the Pats, with the key play being an Eli Manning costly interception. He would only throw one more after that game.
There was a book written by the Boston Globe that was advertised the week before the Super Bowl entitled “19-0,” a reference to the Patriots inevitable perfection. Tom Brady mocked Plaxico Burress for saying the vaunted New England offense would score only 17 points. Well known ESPN columnist Bill “Sports Guy” Simmons predicted a 42-10 Patriots blowout. It was obvious that the Patriots and their fans thought this game would be no trouble. The Giants proved them wrong on their very first drive. New York ate up just under ten minutes and took a 3-0 lead. The Patriots stormed back, however, and took advantage of an Antonio Pierce pass interference call to score the game’s first touchdown on a Laurence Maroney 1 yard run. The Giants began to look sloppy, first an Eli Manning interception that went off the hands of receiver Steve Smith and then a fumble by Ahmad Bradshaw. But then something odd happened. The unstoppable Patriot offense was stopped. And then they were stopped again. Linebacker Kawika Mitchell sacked Tom Brady, and one play later it was Justin Tuck throwing Brady to the grass like a rag doll. Manning fumbled again. And again Tuck sacked Brady, this time stripping the ball as well, which assured that the Giants would go into halftime down only 7-3. The Patriots and Coach Bill Belichick, famous for their halftime adjustments, came out for the second half just as flat as they had finished the first. This time, the Giants would take advantage. Manning hit rookie tight end Kevin Boss for a huge 45 yard play. Boss, who replaced Jeremy Shockey after he suffered a broken leg, was one of many rookies to contribute largely to the Giant success this postseason. Along with Ahmad Bradshaw, cornerback Aaron Ross, Steve Smith, safety Michael Johnson and others, the rookies played like fearless veterans in this Super Bowl. Smith caught a 17 yard pass for another first down, and the drive was capped off with a touchdown pass from Manning to wide receiver David Tyree to give the Giants a 10-7 lead. But Tyree’s night was not over.
The Patriots have been a great team all season, and they would not yield this game without a fight. Tom Brady led a strong drive downfield, but the star was Wes Welker. Welker, who finished the night with 11 catches for 103 yards and was second in MVP voting, caught short passes and weaved tantalizingly out of reach of New York defenders for big gains. Brady finished the drive with a third down touchdown pass to Randy Moss with just 2:42 left on the clock. But unlike in years past, these Patriots left time on the clock.
Eli Manning, the man mocked for being a “comical leader” by Tiki Barber, walked into the huddle and said simply “we’re going to go down and score.” The drive did not start out well for the Giants who were forced into short plays to convert tense third and fourth downs, and they had already expended all but one of their timeouts. That’s when the Giants called the play they called “Phantom.” Eli Manning dropped back to pass and was engulfed by Richard Seymour and Jarvis Green. Just as Giants fans began to lose hope, Manning somehow snuck out of the sack and heaved a 32 yard pass to David Tyree, who leaped high in the air over safety Rodney Harrison and caught the ball with one hand trapping the pigskin against his helmet. It was a play, already dubbed by some as “The Catch II,” that will certainly go down as one of the best in Super Bowl history. “It was supernatural” said Tyree after the game, “some things just don’t make sense.” Steve Smith after the game could only say “Man, that was a catch.” The Giants, already confident, now believed, as did all their fans, that they were destined to win this game. Sure enough, a few plays later, Manning lofted a fade route to Plaxico Burress. It is a play call that Giants fans have come accustomed to seeing. Most times in the pass the ball would be deflected to the ground harmlessly. But not this night. This night was special. Burress badly fooled cornerback Ellis Hobbs with an inside move, and was wide open in the end zone for a touchdown. The Giant faithful erupted as the receiver known as “Plax” took a knee and absorbed the moment. Tom Brady came back on the field with seconds remaining, but there would be no comeback in this game. DT Jay Alford, another rookie, lit Brady up one last time and the Pats turned the ball over on downs. Bill Belichick did his best to show up the Giants by leaving the field early, despite being told by the referee that there was time on the clock. It did not matter. Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning took a knee amidst chants of “18-1” from the crowd, and the impossible had been achieved. Antonio Pierce after the game summed it up after the game by telling reporters about the new motto “18-1: Super Bowl Champion New York Giants” quipped Pierce “Write that book.” The Giants shocked everyone with a playoff run against all odds. “They’re the worst Super Bowl team ever” said Knight News sports editor Ari Goldstein. Perhaps. But they are now the NFL champions, and the winner of the greatest Super Bowl ever.
NYG 17-14 NE.
That was what the scoreboard read at the end of Super Bowl XLII, a game that many people are beginning to call the greatest Super Bowl ever. The 18-0 New England Patriots came to Glendale a confident, if not cocky, team. They left humbled by a Giants team that simply wanted it more and turned the perfect Patriots into an NFL footnote instead of the greatest team of all time. That is not to say that these 2007 Patriots won’t be remembered. Their perfection through 18 games will be invoked with regard to future undefeated clubs, but always along with the painful, unyielding fact that they could not win the most important game of all. Meanwhile, the Giants proved that willpower and resolve, not to mention a ferocious pass rush, should never be underestimated. After clinching a playoff spot in week 16 against the Buffalo Bills, Tom Coughlin made the unorthodox decision to play all of his starters, even though there was nothing to gain. The result was a thrilling week 17 showdown with the Patriots that would end a three point victory for the Pats, with the key play being an Eli Manning costly interception. He would only throw one more after that game.
There was a book written by the Boston Globe that was advertised the week before the Super Bowl entitled “19-0,” a reference to the Patriots inevitable perfection. Tom Brady mocked Plaxico Burress for saying the vaunted New England offense would score only 17 points. Well known ESPN columnist Bill “Sports Guy” Simmons predicted a 42-10 Patriots blowout. It was obvious that the Patriots and their fans thought this game would be no trouble. The Giants proved them wrong on their very first drive. New York ate up just under ten minutes and took a 3-0 lead. The Patriots stormed back, however, and took advantage of an Antonio Pierce pass interference call to score the game’s first touchdown on a Laurence Maroney 1 yard run. The Giants began to look sloppy, first an Eli Manning interception that went off the hands of receiver Steve Smith and then a fumble by Ahmad Bradshaw. But then something odd happened. The unstoppable Patriot offense was stopped. And then they were stopped again. Linebacker Kawika Mitchell sacked Tom Brady, and one play later it was Justin Tuck throwing Brady to the grass like a rag doll. Manning fumbled again. And again Tuck sacked Brady, this time stripping the ball as well, which assured that the Giants would go into halftime down only 7-3. The Patriots and Coach Bill Belichick, famous for their halftime adjustments, came out for the second half just as flat as they had finished the first. This time, the Giants would take advantage. Manning hit rookie tight end Kevin Boss for a huge 45 yard play. Boss, who replaced Jeremy Shockey after he suffered a broken leg, was one of many rookies to contribute largely to the Giant success this postseason. Along with Ahmad Bradshaw, cornerback Aaron Ross, Steve Smith, safety Michael Johnson and others, the rookies played like fearless veterans in this Super Bowl. Smith caught a 17 yard pass for another first down, and the drive was capped off with a touchdown pass from Manning to wide receiver David Tyree to give the Giants a 10-7 lead. But Tyree’s night was not over.
The Patriots have been a great team all season, and they would not yield this game without a fight. Tom Brady led a strong drive downfield, but the star was Wes Welker. Welker, who finished the night with 11 catches for 103 yards and was second in MVP voting, caught short passes and weaved tantalizingly out of reach of New York defenders for big gains. Brady finished the drive with a third down touchdown pass to Randy Moss with just 2:42 left on the clock. But unlike in years past, these Patriots left time on the clock.
Eli Manning, the man mocked for being a “comical leader” by Tiki Barber, walked into the huddle and said simply “we’re going to go down and score.” The drive did not start out well for the Giants who were forced into short plays to convert tense third and fourth downs, and they had already expended all but one of their timeouts. That’s when the Giants called the play they called “Phantom.” Eli Manning dropped back to pass and was engulfed by Richard Seymour and Jarvis Green. Just as Giants fans began to lose hope, Manning somehow snuck out of the sack and heaved a 32 yard pass to David Tyree, who leaped high in the air over safety Rodney Harrison and caught the ball with one hand trapping the pigskin against his helmet. It was a play, already dubbed by some as “The Catch II,” that will certainly go down as one of the best in Super Bowl history. “It was supernatural” said Tyree after the game, “some things just don’t make sense.” Steve Smith after the game could only say “Man, that was a catch.” The Giants, already confident, now believed, as did all their fans, that they were destined to win this game. Sure enough, a few plays later, Manning lofted a fade route to Plaxico Burress. It is a play call that Giants fans have come accustomed to seeing. Most times in the pass the ball would be deflected to the ground harmlessly. But not this night. This night was special. Burress badly fooled cornerback Ellis Hobbs with an inside move, and was wide open in the end zone for a touchdown. The Giant faithful erupted as the receiver known as “Plax” took a knee and absorbed the moment. Tom Brady came back on the field with seconds remaining, but there would be no comeback in this game. DT Jay Alford, another rookie, lit Brady up one last time and the Pats turned the ball over on downs. Bill Belichick did his best to show up the Giants by leaving the field early, despite being told by the referee that there was time on the clock. It did not matter. Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning took a knee amidst chants of “18-1” from the crowd, and the impossible had been achieved. Antonio Pierce after the game summed it up after the game by telling reporters about the new motto “18-1: Super Bowl Champion New York Giants” quipped Pierce “Write that book.” The Giants shocked everyone with a playoff run against all odds. “They’re the worst Super Bowl team ever” said Knight News sports editor Ari Goldstein. Perhaps. But they are now the NFL champions, and the winner of the greatest Super Bowl ever.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Gameday
"When you win you get a feeling of exhilaration, when you lose you get a feeling of resolution. You resolve never to lose again."
The New York Giants have been very resolved since last they played the patriots. They've gone on an amazing run ever since that intense Saturday night showdown, including zero interceptions by Eli Manning, the emergence of Corey Webster, and the rise of Ahmad Bradshaw. The Patriots however are confident and cocky as they've been all season. One only has to look at the book already being advertised on amazon.com, entitled "19-0," to see that the Patriots consider this game already won. ESPN's Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons is calling for a 42-10 blowout. All but two "experts" on ESPN picked the Patriots. The nation seems to think that a New England win is inevitable. I do not. So let's give a position-by-position breakdown.
Quarterback
This one's a no-brainer Tom Brady may be one of the greatest all-time QBs and Eli Manning, superb progression aside, is still Eli Manning.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Running Backs
The Pats backs are dangerous more for their ability to catch passes and run. The Giants ability to stop Kevin Faulk will be a big factor in this game. However the Giants have a strong two-headed running attack, which is stronger than that of the Patriots. Look for Ahmad Bradshaw to have at least one run of 20+ yards, and it may come at a key time.
EDGE:GIANTS
O-Line
This is more of a factor for New England than New York. Both units have played together for a few years and are very strong and disciplined. There won't be many penalties as both teams were ranked near the bottom in that catergory, so it'll simply come down to who contains the pass rush better, and opens more holes for the running backs.
EDGE:EVEN
Wide Receivers
The Giants have made major strides here as the season has gone along, with Steve Smith now an integral third receiver. That said, the Patriots corps is Maddenesque, and is probably the best grour of receivers the league has ever seen. Brady gets too much credit that should go to these guys for route-running and surehandedness.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Tight Ends
Basically Ben Watson vs. Kevin Boss, and the way Boss has filled in as a rookie in a couple years this might be close. But it isn't now.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
D-Line
Here finally the Giants have a clear advantage. Umenyiora, Strahan and extevsive Justin Tuck use all have potential to cause major problems for Brady. On the other side is star DE and DT Richard Seymour and Vince Wilfork, both widely regarded as some of the dirtiest players in the NFL. The big G-Men upfront can handle them.
EDGE:GIANTS
Linebackers
The knock on the Giants 'backers is that they can't cover. The Pats unit has been called old and slow. Both teams will attempt to exploit their opponent's group. Whoever does it better may win this game.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Secondary
Again, here the Giants have made major strides. The future looks bright with the reborn Corey Webster and rookie Aaron Ross. Those two have been mentored all season by Sam Madison and Gibril Wilson. This has turned into a strength for New York. However, once again here the Pats are simply better. Asante Samuel is one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL, and they play strong together.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Special Teams - Return and Coverage
The Giants have found a real threat here in Dominik Hixon and the Patriots have had ne all year long in Ellis Hobbs. Meanwhile the Giants still have "When you're in trouble you call" R.W. McQuarters (say it together) returning punts. The Pats also get better distance on their kicks and that gives them the edge.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Kicker
Lawrence Tynes is a good kicker. But he has had trouble in the past under pressure. He'll need to get over that because this game might come down to his foot. On the other side, Stephen Gostkowski has been solid throughout his short career, but this'll be his first Super Bowl. Does that change anything?
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Punter
I'm only putting this here 'cuz I like Jeff Feagles. Maybe by the end of the game I'll even find out New Englands's punter's name. (just kidding. I know it's something Hansen)
EDGE:GIANTS
So that's 7-3 Patriots. And yet I still believe the Giants will win. Why? Because there's more to sports than who's better on paper. That's why I grew up on stories of U.S.A.-U.S.S.R., of Kirk Gibson and Scott Norwood. It's why our favorite movies are Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Rocky, and Angels In The Outfield. We want to root for an underdog, we want to believe anything can happen. And tonight in Glendale anything can happen, and anything will. And when the clock hits 0:00, that feeling of resolution will turn into a feeling of exhilaration.
The Giants will win.
New York Giants (+12) over New England Patriots, Final Score NYG-31 NE-27
Postseason Picking Record against the spread: 8-1-1
The New York Giants have been very resolved since last they played the patriots. They've gone on an amazing run ever since that intense Saturday night showdown, including zero interceptions by Eli Manning, the emergence of Corey Webster, and the rise of Ahmad Bradshaw. The Patriots however are confident and cocky as they've been all season. One only has to look at the book already being advertised on amazon.com, entitled "19-0," to see that the Patriots consider this game already won. ESPN's Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons is calling for a 42-10 blowout. All but two "experts" on ESPN picked the Patriots. The nation seems to think that a New England win is inevitable. I do not. So let's give a position-by-position breakdown.
Quarterback
This one's a no-brainer Tom Brady may be one of the greatest all-time QBs and Eli Manning, superb progression aside, is still Eli Manning.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Running Backs
The Pats backs are dangerous more for their ability to catch passes and run. The Giants ability to stop Kevin Faulk will be a big factor in this game. However the Giants have a strong two-headed running attack, which is stronger than that of the Patriots. Look for Ahmad Bradshaw to have at least one run of 20+ yards, and it may come at a key time.
EDGE:GIANTS
O-Line
This is more of a factor for New England than New York. Both units have played together for a few years and are very strong and disciplined. There won't be many penalties as both teams were ranked near the bottom in that catergory, so it'll simply come down to who contains the pass rush better, and opens more holes for the running backs.
EDGE:EVEN
Wide Receivers
The Giants have made major strides here as the season has gone along, with Steve Smith now an integral third receiver. That said, the Patriots corps is Maddenesque, and is probably the best grour of receivers the league has ever seen. Brady gets too much credit that should go to these guys for route-running and surehandedness.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Tight Ends
Basically Ben Watson vs. Kevin Boss, and the way Boss has filled in as a rookie in a couple years this might be close. But it isn't now.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
D-Line
Here finally the Giants have a clear advantage. Umenyiora, Strahan and extevsive Justin Tuck use all have potential to cause major problems for Brady. On the other side is star DE and DT Richard Seymour and Vince Wilfork, both widely regarded as some of the dirtiest players in the NFL. The big G-Men upfront can handle them.
EDGE:GIANTS
Linebackers
The knock on the Giants 'backers is that they can't cover. The Pats unit has been called old and slow. Both teams will attempt to exploit their opponent's group. Whoever does it better may win this game.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Secondary
Again, here the Giants have made major strides. The future looks bright with the reborn Corey Webster and rookie Aaron Ross. Those two have been mentored all season by Sam Madison and Gibril Wilson. This has turned into a strength for New York. However, once again here the Pats are simply better. Asante Samuel is one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL, and they play strong together.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Special Teams - Return and Coverage
The Giants have found a real threat here in Dominik Hixon and the Patriots have had ne all year long in Ellis Hobbs. Meanwhile the Giants still have "When you're in trouble you call" R.W. McQuarters (say it together) returning punts. The Pats also get better distance on their kicks and that gives them the edge.
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Kicker
Lawrence Tynes is a good kicker. But he has had trouble in the past under pressure. He'll need to get over that because this game might come down to his foot. On the other side, Stephen Gostkowski has been solid throughout his short career, but this'll be his first Super Bowl. Does that change anything?
EDGE:PATRIOTS
Punter
I'm only putting this here 'cuz I like Jeff Feagles. Maybe by the end of the game I'll even find out New Englands's punter's name. (just kidding. I know it's something Hansen)
EDGE:GIANTS
So that's 7-3 Patriots. And yet I still believe the Giants will win. Why? Because there's more to sports than who's better on paper. That's why I grew up on stories of U.S.A.-U.S.S.R., of Kirk Gibson and Scott Norwood. It's why our favorite movies are Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Rocky, and Angels In The Outfield. We want to root for an underdog, we want to believe anything can happen. And tonight in Glendale anything can happen, and anything will. And when the clock hits 0:00, that feeling of resolution will turn into a feeling of exhilaration.
The Giants will win.
New York Giants (+12) over New England Patriots, Final Score NYG-31 NE-27
Postseason Picking Record against the spread: 8-1-1
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