Presidents Day Song

(This song is a joke. Don't get offended. It's sung to the tune of an Irish Drinking Song such as is sung on "Whose Line Is It Anyway" e.g.: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xnkBVKWMMOM Enjoy!)

Today we honor our leaders
From one to 43
Beginning with the man who
Chopped down the cherry tree
Some presidents had a peaceful time
Some had to reconstruct
Some of them were really good
Others, like Harding, sucked

Washington kept lots of slaves
A hypocrite was he
Adams was pretty decent
‘Cept for those dumb sedition laws
Jefferson wrote declarations
He was a bit of an egotist
Madison stood tall for religion
Though he was only 5’6”

Monroe wrote something important
They call it a doctrine
John Quincy dropped dead in Congress
His daddy got him in
Jackson had a temper
Gave his opponents a scare
Martin Van Buren became president
Despite his awful hair

William Henry Harrison
Should’ve worn a coat
So John Tyler succeeded him
Quickly without a vote
James K. Polk was 11
He said “54-40 or fight”
Zach Taylor died from a sickness
Contracted on July 4th night

Fillmore would not have been president
‘Cuz he had a funny name
Pierce did the Gadsden Purchase
And had a wife named Jane
Buchanon was a bachelor
His presidency was kind of plain
Lincoln freed all the slaves
Then he was shot and his wife went insane

Johnson was the first impeachment
This made him really sad
Ulysses Grant was a great general
But as president he was really bad
Hayes was our 19th president
Against Boss Tweed he had guts
Garfield was really awesome too
Before being shot by a dude who was nuts

Chester Alan Arthur
Had three first names
Grover Cleveland was 22
But we’ll see him again
B. Harrison was embarrassing
He led as if he were on crack
His presidency was so awful
The country took Cleveland back

McKinley took on Spain
And a canal he began to dig
Teddy busted trusts and stuff
With a stick that was really big
Taft was a president and a judge
Though he was large in the gut
Wilson entered the war late
But still kicked some German butt

Harding was a moron
The worst president ever
Coolidge led us to depression
So he wasn’t much more clever
Hoover had bad timing
And he didn’t get real far
But we were saved by a New Deal
From a crippled FDR

Truman dropped the big bomb
And fully ended the Third Reich
Eisenhower was fully bald
But still everyone liked Ike
JFK saved us from crisis
But girl problems he had
LBJ got run out of office
Because Vietnam was so bad


Nixon was so paranoid
That’s what caused Watergate
No one wanted Ford as president
Though he tried to set the country straight
Jimmy Carter tried his best
But Iran was so hostile
Everyone loved Reagan
Even though he was senile

George H.W. Bush bombed
Iraq from dusk to dawn
Bill Clinton helped the economy
But couldn’t keep his pants on
The next George Bush had problems
He couldn’t say nuclear you see
I don’t know who the next president is
But I hope it’s not Hillary